Why is prostitution illegal?

My week has been mild.  My kids are finishing up school.  Actually my eldest daughter has completed the school year.  My youngest daughter is completing her last day today.  The only problem I have is what to do with her while she is out of school.  She is a child that bores easily.  I do not have a car either.  I do not know what to do.  Hey I know what we can do.  She loves to write and make up stories.  Would you all be interested in reading her stories?

My eldest daughter did have an interesting question.  She asked me why prostitution is illegal.  I would love to hear what you think.  I will give you the answer I gave her.  My answer was I do not know.  I will be glad to expand on my answer.

Change to the blog

I have updated my blog once again.  I got tired of what I had.  I got tired of focusing on me.  I am not that interesting.  At least I do not think I am.  I am no different from any other 37 year old, un-employed mother of three who has MS.  I mean I have problems but everyone else has problems too.  A comment from you will help me get my mind off of myself.  I am so sick of talking about myself.  I am sure you are tired of hearing my belly-aching.  From now on I am going to do what I love doing which is to help others.  It is why I love administrative work.  It is helping others be better versions of themselves.

Turning Point

I wanted to apologize.  I started this blog in order to purge bad feelings and deal with bad feelings.  I wanted this blog to be positive.  It has not been positive.  It  has been me feeling sorry for myself.  It has been all about me.  I hope to change the direction of this blog.
An angel bought my husband and I some furniture.  Our present furniture is crap.  My dog did a number on it.  She is leaving her puppy stage.  She will be 2 and that is like a teenager in dog years.  From my limited experience teens sleep most of the day.  I think my new couches will be safe from the dog.  They may be destroyed by my children and husband.  I will deal with that when it happens. 

I lived yesterday.  Well my kids lived and I watched. 

Picture it.  The year was 2012.  It was a warm day.  There was one dark cloud in the sky.  It promised rain.  It delivered rain a few short minutes later.  The sky opened up and the rain came down.  One of my daughters is yelling that the rain feels like hail. (Sorry I began this way.  I have been watching the 'Golden Girls'. )

My son walks around in wonderment and looks up.  He wants to know where the water is coming from.  He looks at his sisters and smiles.  He smiles a smile of trust.  'The water will not harm me.'  He trusts that his sisters will protect him.  'Nothing is going to harm me.'

The laughter seems to be coming from way down deep.  Laughter that makes the rain seem like a shower in the house. 

'I am starting to feel a  little chilly.'

I tell them to come inside and take a really nice warm shower and get ready for bed. 

My oldest child leaves her siblings behind and gets into the shower.  We do not see her again for an hour.

My middle child complains.  She wonders why the fun in the rain cannot be considered her shower.  I tell her that soap was not involved and that is why it is not considered a shower.   

My son cries because that is the most outside time he has had in a long time.

Don't worry everyone took long warm baths.  They toweled off and ate dinner afterward. 

I tell you this much it was very easy to get everyone in bed.  So here it is no more sadness.  Just a tired mom.

I've Got Nuthin...

This is not another depressing post. I just do not have anything to write about.  I guess I could tell you that my teenager.  She stays up most of the night and sleeps all day.  Typical teenager.  I could write about how the seven year old thinks she is above us all. Last night after convincing her to get in the shower.  After 25 minutes I tell her, "For someone who said she did not want to take a shower she was taking a mighty long time."  The reply I get back was, "You know how it is mommy.  You do not want to get in the shower but once you get in then you do not want to get out."  I could not respond.  Then ther is the one year old.  He thinks he is a dog.  He puts blankets in his mouth and shakes his head.  He also likes to climb on anything and everything.

My poor body and mind needs a break. My husband and daughters did give me an hour of peace last night.  I also have you all.  I will write again soon.

To the men in my life

Today I decided to honor the men in my life.  Some men who have hurt me deeply.  Some men who have brought me great joy. Some of them are fathers now.  Some of the men are would be fathers. 

I grew up surrounded by boys that grew up to be strong men. 

They were the most troublesome group of boys. 

There was the day they told me to lay down on a table and close my eyes.  Then one of them kissed me.  Being the sweet girl that I was back then I slapped the crap out of him. 

One of these wonderful boys showed me my first porno.  I believe the title was 'Cherry Truckers'.  A cinema masterpiece. :)

One of these wonderful boys told me there was no Santa Clause.
One of these wonderful boys would play school with me.  Or run in the snow and act like a monster was chasing us. 

Then there was the boy who did his best to make me smile.
Good Times.

I was the biggest tom boy when I was around them.  I guess that is why I get along with guys rather than gals today. 

I saw and heard alot that can never be erased from my brain.  Do you have men like these in your life?

I need help.

Everyone wants to give a helping hand as long as it does not interfere with their lives.  When was the last time you did something for someone even if it inconvenienced you.  I have not seen that happen in awhile. 

Whenever I asked for help I get excuses about how they cannot do it right now.  I know everyone has their own busy lives to lead.  I hate inconveniencing others so I do not ask.  Better to not get my feelings hurt.  Right?

Even the person that I trusted the most is too busy for me.  I am just feeling sorry for myself.  I think I deserve a pity party.  I wish this party had some music.  Music always makes me feel better.

Looking like I am OK

I am not OK.  I look fine but I am not OK. 

This is not about MS.  I am not OK because I made alot of mistakes in my life.  I am petrified to make another mistake. 

I went into some guys room thinking he liked me.  He liked me but only for sex.  Then I thought I was getting revenge by having sex with him again and making him want me.

I have always tried to please people.  The one time I try to please myself.  There is no one who can help me.  It is too late for me. 

My husband says not to worry.  He should know who he married.  A third generation worrier.

NC Weather Sucks

I hate to say it but it really does suck.  On days when it is too mild enough for me to go outside it rains.  Having MS sucks because I cannot go outside on nice days because it is too hot.  I cannot go outside on rainy days because I could slip.  Who wants to play in the rain anyway?

That is it!  I am moving to somewhere where it does not get too hot or rain a lot.  Wait there is no where I can go.  I will just find something wrong with there. 

It rains sometimes.  It gets hot sometimes.  Global warming is not fun for an MS patient. 

I just have to face it.  I am mad I have MS.  I want what is best for my kids.  I am realizing I am not what is right for them right now.  I am mad and depressed.  I want to be but I am not what is right for them.  I am trying to be what is right for them but if I push myself too hard I get sick.

They remember a mother that loved the outdoors.  They remember a mother that ran outside.  Now I am lucky to walk a great distance.  They remember a mother who did everything for them.

I don't want to be sad anymore.  I don't want to worry about bills anymore.  I want to work and be the best I can be. 

Gosh!  I am getting sick of me!  Quick read a happier blog.

Marco, Job-O. Where are you?

Today was a hard day.  My husband has been working all day.  It was just me and the kids.  Having a job will not make us rich or anything.  It would mean that I can focus my attention on worrying about something else.  I am a worrier.  I may be third generation worrier.  My mother is a worrier and my grandmother before her.  I worry about our bills.  I worry about my kids.  I worry about the dog.  I worry about how much I worry.  It is very stressful.  I have to learn how not to worry so much.

I have been doing it all my life.  It is hard to stop.

I used to worry about if I did something right.  I worried about making someone mad at me.  I still worry about that.  Old habits die hard.

Having a talk with Mommy

There is nothing my children hate more than having a talk with mommy.  My children hate having a talk with mommy when they do something wrong.

I learned this when I was a daycare worker.  This technique works very well.  I learned how to be a better mom but now I want to find my dream.

When my kids do something that annoys me I start to count.  I know when I am about to lose it because I begin to laugh.  The reason I laugh is because I cannot believe the ridiculousness of the statements made in order to get out of trouble.

I sit my kids down and I make sure that they are paying attention to me.  Then I begin the talk.  I ask them to explain to me the reason why they felt what they did was a good idea.   I normally listen to the whole story without interrupting them. 

I listen to everything and then I tell them why what they did was not a good idea.  They normally they do not do it again.

I told my husband the worst punishment I could ever give them is the sound of my voice.

When your child wets the bed

First I would like to apologize for my last post.  I was feeling little down because I had to face reality that I am a person with MS and I might lose a part of myself. 

The Pity Party is Over. 

I had to remind myself that it is a recession and jobs are hard to come by.  Especially government jobs.  Forget about private jobs.  No one wants to take a chance on someone who is over qualifed. Or someone who is underqualified.  The job that I loved was a government job.  I decided to play it safe and choose jobs that were close to me to alleviate some of the stress of working.  I also looked for jobs similar to my old government job.  

Everyone around me wants me to stay home with the kids.   I don't want to9 because when I am stressed out.  I lose my award winning patiece with the kids.  I prefer not to lose my patience.  They are only kids.  Wonderful, loving kids.  

And there is that whole MS situation. 

I may have to let it go. 

Hey!  That sounds familiar.  Maybe I should start taking my own advice.

Now on to the bedwetter.  I think I may have found a solution to the problem.  A night light and the removal of the pee soaked bed.  I hear there are pillow pets with night lights.  Or a simple night light.

I am not made of money. Joke.  You get it because I have no money.  Come on.  You snickered.

Do you all have any suggestions? 

God and Homosexuality

I happened to be turning the channels and I caught a televangelist talking about homosexuality as something that someone has to rid themselves of.  I did not like what he said. 

Lots of people believe that homosexuality is something to rid themselves of.  Then we have people that believe as Gaga says they were born that way. 

All I know is that I love people.  Whatever they are doing I just hope they are safe doing it. 

OK.  I got that off my chest now onto my day so far.  I decided to give job hunting a rest today.  Or more to the point I needed a rest.  Things are going well for my husband.  I am happy for him and a little jealous. 

I am upset that I cannot find a job.  I guess I am playing it too safe.  I could stay home but it is hard being a stay at home mom.  It is tiring and I feel I am so unproductive.  I had so many plans for my life.  I feel them slipping away.  I could work from home but that is difficult to do with a one year old. 

I constantly tell my husband that someone so small cannot have that much energy. 

Well I put in for assistance by submitting information for Disability Insurance.  I do not know if I will get it or not.  We will see.  It is manual labor that is difficult for me to do.  I am looking for an office job but I am not qualified for many it.  I have a bachelor's degree but not a degree for the types of jobs that are out there.  My husband does not want me to travel very far because...  He never really gave me a reason.  It could be because of the cost of gas or because we only have one car.  It could be because he would worry about me on the road.  I just know he got mad and I dropped it.  He is under enough stress.

I will keep trying.

The Dreaded Question

I encourage my kids to ask questions.  I am starting to rethink that plan.  As they get older the questions become more complicated.  Gone are the how does Santa get from house to house in one night.  Why does the dog not like me to pull her tail.  Where does snow come from?

The questions now are why are you tired all the time?  Why cann't you drive me to the store? 

The questions seem harmless until you explain that you have a disease.  Young mind cannot fully understand the concept that your body is attacking itself and that you are unable to stop it.  Adults cannot understand the concept.  How is a child supposed to understand?

Last Will and Testament Revisited

I feel foolish to be worried about myself.  My cousin died today because of a motor vehicle accident.  It makes me realize that I at least have some warning.  It may be quick but I have some time to be with my kids.  In honor of my cousin I will help others and not look for any thing in return. OK I will look for companionship and maybe a little help with the kids.