Forgivness

I just read the prodigal son to my son.  Of course he sat an listened then he realized there was TV to be watched.  Last night I thought about the prodigal son.

I have a dog like the prodigal son. 

She loves to find a way to get out.  No matter how far she goes she comes home.  She knows that we love her.  No matter how bad she is. We love her to pieces.  Even though my husband was against getting a dog.  He loves her and is upset if anything happens to her. 

Like I said she is an escape artist but she always comes home.  We forgive her and love her every time she finds a way out.  She knows that we will forgive her.  We welcome her with food and a good talking to.

If I can forgive a dog then I can show forgiveness to anyone.

Feeling strong

Today I woke up and I felt stronger than I have in awhile.  So strong that I started to get upset with myself all over again.  Why did it take so long for me to realize that what I really wanted from life was to make people happy.  But I lost track of that by feeling sorry for myself.  I felt low.
I told my son that it was time for bed.  He did something that he has not done in a long time.  He got in the bed with me and fell right to sleep.  He always knows when mommy is feeling low.  He always does something to make me laugh.  He is a two year old comic genius. 
Putting his legs in one pants hole.
 Looking at me with the what did I do look when he gets in trouble.
There is a whole list of things that he does.  The above lists just a few of the things. 
His older sisters do funny things to make laugh.  Of course it is not funny to them.  It is hilarious to me. 

Feeling Alone When You Are Surrounded by loved ones

I am surrounded by those who love me.  Yet I feel alone.  I am alone when there is pain.  I endure the pain because I know it is only a moment in time.  The physical pain will go away.  The pain in my heart goes away when I see my children smile because mommy laughs at herself when she falls down.  The best medicine they say is laughter.  So  I have prescribed to myself a healthy dose of laughter everyday.   I prescribe that for anyone. It is hard to laugh when you feel that there is nothing to laugh at.

My kids make me laugh.  They can just put on a dance show for mommy to watch.  They play silly games with each other.

I missed you. Did you miss me?

I took a much needed break.  Now I am back.  My vacation was to lay in the bed.  I was reminded about why I do not watch the news.  I can not tell you how many times I caught myself crying I know I need to be knowledgeable about what is going on in the world.  Why does it have to be so sad.  Is it not enough that my life is crap.  I do not want to be depressed about someone else and what they are going through.   When I woke this morning I was reminded that to err is human and to forgive is divine.  I want to be divine.  I have for given every one  but myself I do forgive myself  why would someone be so blessed if they were not loved.