Grudges

I wondered if to write this or not.  I do not want to seem like I am not grateful for all my blessings I am thankful for everything that has been given to me. 

I do carry grudges.  The only thing that is different is that I let them go and move on. 

There is a whole list of things that I am upset about.  Many of my grudges are toward myself. 

I am mad at myself for making excuses to myself for different reasons. 

What kind of grudges?

OK.   You pulled my leg.

I am mad at myself for not believing the doctor when I was diagnosed with MS.  I am mad at myself for allowing people to believe what they wanted about me and my husband. 

I am mad that when I asked for help and people turned their back I figured they were too busy and did not have time. 

I am mad that I did not have the courage to say that I forgave my father for his alcoholism years ago.  I am mad that I did not tell people that I was angry at believing that I would not be a good mother.

I am mad at God for making me so needy.  I want to stand on my own two feet but I get so tired. 

I just want to visit all the restaurants on the food network.  I want to have a vacation with my family at a great hotel and just lay around.

Well being mad does no one any good.  Besides my kids trust that there is nothing their parents cannot do.