What is the scariest moments in your life?

The scariest moments in my life were not when I was diagnosed with MS.  It was not when my youngest daughter walked away from me in a store.  It was not any of those things and the normal ones that you would think would be something that would turn your hair white.  The MS is something that can be managed and I can live a relatively normal life.  My daughter is a smart cookie and knows to scream like a maniac if someone were to snatch her.  Moments like those were scary but they were not the scariest.

The scariest moments in my life are the times when I have no control over a situation or at least the fantasy that I have control.  When I watch my twelve year old daughter leave the house for school I say a little prayer.  I have no control over what will happen to her while she is at school because I worked in the school system and have seen what could possibly happen. 

I went down a water slide recently because my daughter wanted me to go down with her.  I am not a great swimmer but I went down anyway.  I had no control over how fast I was going.  I tried to slow down and even to stop myself.  Finally I had to tell myself relax let go and it will be OK.  I did and those last seconds  were fun.  I fell into the water and my daughter apologized and said she was sorry to make me do it.  She said she did not want me to drown.  I had to smile because I could have imagined how ridiculus I must have looked.  After calming her down I realized it is OK to lose control sometimes.  The good Lord will get you where you need to be.

That is how I am approaching this writing thing.  It scares the hell out of me.  I have no control over who does or does not like what I write.  I may make no money from doing it.  But there is the possibility that I touch one person with the words I write and that is honestly enough for me.  In this day and age money is important but if I based my decisions on what is culturally acceptable I would have never married my husband and had three great kids.  The Hell With It.  I followed God this far and he has not disappointed me.  I think I will continue to follow him.